


After Adamant

by Songofpsalms297



Category: Dragon Age (Video Games), Dragon Age - All Media Types, Dragon Age: Inquisition
Genre: Adamant Spoilers, F/M, Gen, Meredith is crazy, SO SAD, UGH., angsty, friendly - Freeform, just a smidge really, relationship, with a little fluff
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-07-27
Updated: 2017-07-27
Packaged: 2018-12-07 18:45:58
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,433
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11629644
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Songofpsalms297/pseuds/Songofpsalms297
Summary: Hawke is lost to the nightmare. Varric shares his point of view of the revelation of Anders using Hawke as an arm of his terrorist plot.





	After Adamant

**Author's Note:**

> Had an interesting idea. Now I made myself sad.

Wine flowed around the tavern. The fire crackled a merry counterpoint to the sorrow etched on his face. He captured her eyes with his own. Grimacing he asked, "I ever tell you the full story of what happened between Hawke and Blondie, Seeker?"  
Her breath caught, she'd known when he spun his version of the Tale of the Champion, Varric had glossed over details that were irrelevant to her fact-finding mission. She loved a good love story, the dog-eared, well-worn stack of tomes by her bedroll was evidence of that. Something Varric loved to tease her about. She understood though, that this story was something generated by Varric's grief. Details of a story best left alone, until amputation and horror drew it out. His best friend had been sacrificed for the needs of the Inquisition. One more life consumed by the juggernaut born of desperation to battle an evil creature with delusions of godhood. Cassandra knew what that kind of loss could do to someone left alone. It was one of the reasons she'd sought him out, drawn him from his room, had pried the brandy from his hand, requested he put down the quill until later. Come lose himself in the familiar warmth of a crowd of laughing people. Nodding at him, he began to speak.  
"It was one of the best tragedies I'd ever written. And all I did was write down the details of what happened. No embellishment necessary. "  
Impulsive as always, and more compassionate than most people gave her credit for, she saw the tear begin to roll and grasped one of his hands in both of hers. Willing some of her strength to flow into him, wishing there were some way she could do, anything at all to help ease even a little of his pain. She couldn't restrain a small smirk when he glanced at their clasped hands, and the corner of his talented lips quirked up. He drew in a deep, fortifying breath, exhaled, and resumed his tale.  
Apparently from the moment Hawke saw Anders she was head over heels with the mage. And not just in the "I like the way your robes hang on you" kind of way. Even though Anders had initially offered paltry resistance to Hawke's flirtation, he began to respond. They were cute, and flirtatious, and nauseating. There was something about Blondie that made Varric’s rogue senses twitch. He eventually attributed it to the fact that they were all, with the exception of Aveline, criminals. Technically, he supposed even Aveline was a criminal though he’d die before telling that to her.  
Cassandra’s snort brought him back to the story, “Hey, I’m half a continent away from Kirkwall, and Aveline still scares the piss out of me. She’s scarier than Corypheus.”  
“If even half of the Tale of the Champion is true, I will concede your point, Varric.” Her smile caught in his eyes. Despite his numb grief, he found himself reflecting her grin.  
“One day Hawke showed up at the Hanged Man, bellowing for yours truly. As I headed down the stairs into the bar, she tackled me. Giggling like a crazy person, eyes full of joy, I knew. They had moved beyond flirtation. Isabella harassed Hawke for weeks afterward. Pretty much all our tribe took the piss out of Hawke and Blondie for the next several months. Eventually, it became the norm, and faded into the background of everything else we were dealing with at the time.” He chuckled at the memories of Fenris, and even Aveline harassing Hawke and Blondie about dating. Especially after Hawke had tormented Aveline and Donnic about the brass marigolds. Hawke had taken to calling Aveline “Golden Mari” afterward. Thankfully the nickname hadn’t stuck. It was a truly terrible one. As his mind drifted back to the story at hand, the smile fell away from his face, grief marring his face. He sighed before resuming.  
His mouth opened but she stopped him. “You don’t have to continue the tale if you don’t wish to, Varric. I am sorry that Hawke is lost to you in service to the Inquisition.”  
A sad smile graced his face, his hand reached out to cup her cheek, thumb lightly tracing her face. He needed to share this story with her, because he knew she would understand. As they had grown closer, she had shared her own heartbreak with him. He’d learned about her parents’ murders when she was so young, the murder of her brother in front of her when she was a few years older, and then the sudden death of her lover at the conclave. They’d become friends instead of adversaries over the months they’d worked together to further the Inquisition. They’d bonded in the tavern over mugs of ale and hands of Wicked Grace, and gossip about their cohorts. He’d gotten his first inkling of how deep the desire for romance ran in her veins when she spoke to Bull about his budding relationship with their resident Tevinter.  
He’d even caught her sighing when she walked past the candlelit table Hero had set up for the romantic dinner for Ruffles and himself.  
“You know that old saying, Seeker? ‘Love is blind?’ He played her heart. Andraste’s hairy ass, I can still see the look of gutted betrayal on Hawke’s face at the end. You wondered how she could kill him, Seeker? Why there was no room left in her normally compassionate heart for him? This is why.”  
Heart breaking with the retelling, Varric told Cassandra about how Anders had approached Hawke after they had lived together for a couple of years, telling her he had discovered an ancient Tevinter technique for separating Justice from himself. Varric had been suspicious from the start, reasoning if that were possible, why wouldn’t Blondie have already tried it. But he gave his friend the benefit of the doubt, and had regretted it ever since.  
He told Cassandra of the months they had all invested in locating the obscure components for a “spell” Blondie had discovered during his research. At the time Varric had chuckled, flippantly questioning where Blondie would possibly find the time to do any research at all, given every spare moment Blondie poured over his manifesto. He’d been startled by the momentary flash of fade blue in Blondie’s eyes. He had begun to set out feelers for information for this “separation ritual” Blondie had insisted he’d found.  
A few days later, Varric had become even more suspicious of Justice’s actions when Hawke casually mentioned that Blondie’d needed her to distract the Grand Cleric while he snuck into the chantry’s archives. Ostensibly to gather the last pieces of research to complete what was necessary for the ritual. Marian had been so excited. Her eyes had sparkled, she had laughed more freely that evening then Varric had seen her laugh since Carver went off to join the Templars.  
“Dwarves aren’t supposed to be able to dream, Seeker. The truth is, we don’t dream often, and only in response to great stress. My nightmare consists of the chantry explosion, Anders’ last moments, and the sounds of Hawke’s heart shattering when she realized Blondie had used her as a mule to carry out his murder of the Grand Cleric, and all the people currently in the chantry at the time of its explosion. Not to mention all the other innocents on the streets.”  
“She’d screamed in his face with every ounce of emotion she’d possessed. ‘You made me culpable, Anders! My hands are just as bloody as yours are! You f’cker!’ She railed at him, reminding him of all that he’d thrown away, all the joy, and the love, all the kittens and orphans they had saved. ‘I believed you! I believed in you! I helped you anyway I could! How could you kill Elthina! She was like my grandmother! She loved you too! What do you have to say for yourself! Tell me this wasn’t you! That you didn’t betray us all for your misguided beliefs!’  
“Justice had calmly met her glare with that dead-man’s stare. In that weird monotone he possessed, he replied to her accusations with just one line. ‘Justice will be served.’  
“I was there when she snapped. Without a seconds pause she drove her blade into his heart, turned on her heel, and marched off to help save Orsino and the mages from Meredith’s onslaught.  
“Blondie killed Hawke that day. It just took a year to come full circle, Seeker.” With that, he fell into Cassandra’s waiting arms and allowed the flood of grief to consume him.


End file.
